Monday, May 6, 2013

The One Thing That Makes My Marriage Last

On Saturday, my husband and I celebrated 17 years of marriage.  There are a lot of reasons why our marriage should not last. Here are just a few:
  1. We both come from dysfunctional childhoods, bringing a lot of emotional baggage into the marriage.
  2. We are both previously divorced. The divorce rate for 1st marriages is 50%, but rises to 67% for 2nd marriages. Statistically, our chances of staying together are low.
  3. We have over a 20 year difference in our ages.
  4. We are both strong leaders. Individually this is a great thing, but joined together it can create some dynamic power struggles. 
But there is one reason that we are able to stay together that is bigger than all the reasons we shouldn't be able to. That reason is:
  1. Jesus.
That's it. Jesus. You see with God on our side, He makes a huge difference.

Jesus fills the empty spaces left by dysfunctional childhoods, allowing us to be filled by Him, instead of creating the unrealistic expectation of our spouse to complete us.

Jesus shows us grace and mercy for our tremendous short comings. By His example, we are able to forgive one another.

Jesus modeled servant leadership. That allows us both to not only lead lovingly, but to also die to self for one another. He also modeled marriage. Just as He is head of the church, He ordained that my husband is head of the family. I am learning to not only allow that as God leads, but also to accept the freedom that comes with it.

My husband and I may have started our relationship on "shaky ground." But now that we're standing firmly on the Rock, we can experience the abundant life Jesus offers us.  Our marriage is not perfect. We still struggle in some areas. We are still sinners.  But with Jesus on our side, we are more than victorious.

Ask Jesus into your marriage today. When you join with Him, despite what the world predicts, your marriage will not be easily broken.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
Kelly Combs is a Christian wife, mom, writer and speaker. You can learn about Kelly by visiting her website at

Chatty Kelly


Karen Hossink said...

Happy Anniversary to you both!
So thankful Jesus is our Rock!

Roxy said...

AMEN! Happy Anniversary Kelly.
Thank you for the message of the hope that marriages have when they let God guide and direct them. I love how you mentioned that our spouce cannot totally fulfill us - only Jesus can. That let's our spouce off the hook and produces a much healthier marriage. :) Thank you again for this encouraging post.