Thursday, June 30, 2011

I'm NOT okay.

Up until this point in my life, if anyone asked me, "Are you okay?" the answer would be a resounding "YES!"

Kelly, your mom tried to kill herself again. Are you okay? YES!
Kelly, a family member has been hospitalized. Are you okay? YES!
Kelly, {insert any situation here}. Are you okay? YES!

The answer was always, "YES, I'm okay," because to not be okay would be less than perfect. I had to have perfect faith, and be perfect, and act perfect, and be perfectly okay.

But this week something has shaken me to my core. The tragic death of a young infant in my extended family. It was an accidental death, and the family has huge grief. And while we all know Jesus and love him, the pain is overwhelming.

And so I need you to know 2 things.

1. I am not trying to be perfect anymore. I am just me. *and*
2. I am definitely NOT okay.

Chatty Kelly


Gwen S said...

Hugs dear friend. You are right. Nothing will truly be "ok" inn this fallen world. Praying for Jesus to heal hurts as only He can...until He comes again.

BARBIE said...

Kelly, I am so very sorry. My heart breaks for you and this family.

Loree Huebner said...


I'm so sorry to hear this news.

Things happen that we are not meant to understand in this world. I'm sending you a warm hug in friendship. As(online)friends, we mourn with you. Lean on Jesus when it gets to be too much. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.


NITA said...

this post touches my heart and I am lifting you all in prayer now.

God Bless - Nita

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

Kelly, I can empathize with you in this tragedy; I've been there. I'm so, so sorry for your pain.

But I have to say, at the very least, I'm glad you're free of the shackles of perfection. It's only a hindrance to your healing.

Praying for you and your family to be overcome by the presence of God during this difficult time.

Tracy said...

It's OK to not be OK. You are loved.

Kathy S. said...

Praying you and the parents will FEEL HELD by Jesus and comforted in His love.

Edie said...

I love you my dear friend. I read about the incident in the news online. I have had you and your family in my thoughts and prayers continually and have been grieving with you and for you continually too.

I know there are no words that any of us can say that will help, but God WILL carry you through this.

Big hugs my friend. I'm so glad you're not perfect. It helps me to be myself. ♥♥♥

Carmen said...

I'm so sorry to hear that, Kelly! That's terrible news and hard to bear or understand.

Coming across as strong has its drawbacks, even when that strength comes from Him...people tend to think you don't need them, and you don't need help or encouragement, but we all need that. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Irritable Mother said...

Jesus, YOU are perfect. Your love is perfect. Your comfort is perfect. Everything about You is perfect, and I pray You would wrap Your arms around imperfect-NOT-okay-Kelly and assure her of Your presence and love today. Please comfort her heart and draw her close to Yours.

Tammy Nischan said...

As a grieving mom myself, I want to say "thank you" for being shaken by the pain of another mom. Losing a child is unbearable, but having friends who hurt with you makes such a difference in the journey through the pain.

Much love and prayers to them and to you,