Monday, September 7, 2009


In honor of Labor Day, I am completely stealing my blog post from another blog. (In other words, I am taking the day off like everyone else does, but still providing entertainment to you my followers).
Thanks to Lady Lighthouse, where I copied this from.

Please know this is humor and not intended seriously.

Translating Christianese
The Evangelical Press Association (EPA) website recently shared the following: Christianese is a language used in the Christian subculture and understood easily only by other practicing Christians. As Christian communicators it's important to avoid words in our writing that could be misunderstood or fail to communicate — terms that have meaning only in the Christian subculture.

As a public service, here are some common phrases used in the church, along with their English-language equivalents:

Christianese: "If it be God's will."
Translation: "I really don't think God is going to answer this one.
Christianese: "Let's have a word of prayer."
Translation: "I am going to pray for a long, long, long time."
Christianese: "That's not my spiritual gift."
Translation: "Find someone else."
Christianese: "Fellowship"
Translation: "Organized gluttony."
Christianese: "The Lord works in mysterious ways."
Translation: "I'm totally clueless."
Christianese: "Lord willing . . ."
Translation: "You may think I'll be there, but I won't."
Christianese: "I don't feel led."
Translation: "Can't make me."
Christianese: "God led me to do something else."
Translation: I slept in instead of going to church.
Christianese: "God really helped me with this test."
Translation: "I didn't study but I guessed good, so I'm giving God credit in the hope that He helps me again."
Christianese: "She has such a sweet spirit!"
Translation: "What an airhead!"
Christianese: "I have a 'check' in my spirit about him."
Translation: "I can't stand that jerk!"
Christianese: "I'll be praying for you."
Translation: "There's an outside chance I'll remember this conversation later today."
Christianese: "Prayer concerns"
Translation: "Gossip"
Christianese: "In conclusion . . . "
Translation: "I'll be done in another hour or so."
Christianese: "Let us pray"
Translation: "I'm going to pretend to talk to God now, but I'm really preaching at you."
Christianese: "You just have to put it in God's hands."
Translation: "Don't expect me to help you."
Christianese: "God wants to prosper you!"
Translation: "Give me all your money."
(Author Unknown)

Chatty Kelly


Sharon@JoyInTheTruth said...

Kelly -- these really are so funny! I never type "LOL", but really I did "LOL"! Thanks for lightening our day!

Happy Labor Day! No Labor Today!

Blasé said...

"I'll be praying for you"
-I'm going to take the easy route so I don't have to inconvienience myself by getting involved.

Great List! (seriously this time)

That is what I like about you, Kelly. You keep it real. I also like you because you are one pretty lil' preacher lady!!!

Julie Gillies said...

Hilarious, Kelly. I SO need to laugh right now. Thanks for helping me start my day with a smile!

Happy Labor Day, my friend.

Oh, and thanks for your sweet comment on this week's post at my blog. I KNEW you'd understand. (((hugs)))

Andrea said...

Hope you have a wonderfully blessed day with your family.

Bonita said...

So funny, and for the most part so true! I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry!

B His Girl said...

I think these should be in the church bulletin! A couple of them sound familiar. b

Susanne said...

LOL. Ouch. LOL.

Heart2Heart said...


Great lines for you to post that I often wonder if some people don't use these!

Have to make a copy of these for our youth pastor!

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Billy Coffey said...

Oh, that was SO funny! Just what I needed today. Thanks, Kelly.

My ADHD Me said...

"That's not my spiritual gift"
"I don't feel led"
"She has such a sweet spirit"
"I'll be praying for you"
"Prayer concerns"
"In Conclusion"
"You just have to put it in God's hands"

haha. OK, I started to write my favorites, but it looks like they are all funny.
"In Conclusion"----Definitely Lutheran!!

LisaShaw said...

Praying your day is a blessing to you and your precious family.

Thanks for sharing.

Love and hugs.

Susan said...

Oh I needed to read that. It's perfect food for thought.



Carmen said...

Well, I thought this was really funny! I also liked the fact you stole it from another blog because you don't work on labor day.

Personal favorites? I don't feel led; that's not my spiritual gift; God wants to prosper you.

Edie said...

Well this is one time I'm proud to say my spirit is not generally referred to as sweet. Now I can stop worrying about it. :)

Love you!

Mocha with Linda said...

Those are hilarious! And spot on!