Monday, August 24, 2009

It's Not Fair!

If you have kids, you might hear the phrase "It's not fair!" quite a bit. If things are not equal, kids think they're not fair. A wise mom of 6 once told me, however, the difference between fair & equal. Fair literally means "free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice." So when she gave each child a handful of goldfish at snack time, the children may not have had equal amounts, but it was indeed fair.

Honestly, sometimes I feel like life isn't fair too. When playing the comparison game it can look like I come out a loser...and that's not fair! Whether comparing income, family members, or (ahem) published works, I can think it's not fair when someone gets something seemingly more than I got.

I need to look at the example of Jesus, who was God, yet didn't try to be equal with God. Instead he took on a servants role, which wasn't fair at all. But he did it, so that I could get something I didn't deserve. As unfair as it is, Jesus died so that I may live with his Father in spite of my sinful nature.

In life we can't compare things on the terms of equality. Everyone gets a different handful of gifts, and a different handful of problems. God may not be doling everything out equally. He is, however, fair.

Colossians 4:1 -- Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

Philippians 2:5-7 -- Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.

Chatty Kelly
Please excuse the word verification box. After receiving 2 p0rn spam comments in 2 days, I decided to add the box for a few days. Thanks for understanding!


Melanie said...

I like this, Kelly. And sometimes we don't consider this part:
" Everyone gets a different handful of gifts, and a different handful of problems."
When we are tempted to envy another's gifts, would we envy their challenges, too?

Sharon@JoyInTheTruth said...

I remember a friend told me once that her husband said to her "we don't do "fair"...we are servants". That always stuck with me.

The word verification box is fine and understandable. :)

SusanD said...

Excellent examples. Thanks so much for sharing this. Blessings, SusanD

Andrea said...

My grandparents pretty much raised me and once my grandfather told me: God allows you to have different gifts in life for different seasons..he went on to say that HE gives us what we can handle. I did not fully understand at the time, but I do now. If I had some of the things i have longed for..I might become selfish and not be the person He created me to be.
Blessings, andrea

T. Anne said...

Ooh you hit a nerve, the right one. Fair is an unjust assessment of life. I will keep my eyes on Jesus!

Greg C said...

Kelly I could have written this post. When someone tells me that something isn't fair, I always come back with no life is fair it just isn't always equal. When someone says Life isn't fair, I tell them about Jesus and say, now that wasn't fair. But it happened.

I like to think that my life isn't "fair" because God knows I need it that way.

Lea said...

I'll be thinking of this "handful" all day long Kelly. The lesson goes on in my heart how some people will take that all a step further with "what they DESERVE." -- Anyways, an awesome reminder in "fairness." Thanks so much for sharing this!

btw... I noticed you had the same commenter hittin you that I did. Least I think it was. It was a different language with one word in english in the center. I had to put my verification back up as well.

KrippledWarrior said...

The Lord my God is pure light. There is no darkness in Him.
He will never give you a burden you cannot carry. In all things praise His name. Amen.
Teach it Sister, I enjoy this stuff.

Runner Mom said...

Great post!! And the scripture from Phil. is wonderful in that Jesus knew why the servant's role was so needed...for us!!

**Don't worry about the word verication box!!

Heart2Heart said...


I love this post! I think too often we are always looking over the neighbors fence to see really if their grass is much greener. What we are missing is like you said in the post, they also have a whole different set of problems from us. Be happy with what God gives you.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Trusting God to take care of what is right and good and fair ...

Laurie said...

I love this!!! What a great word on what is truly "fair". I find myself often looking at Christ to remind myself of His sacrifice and to find contentment in what He gives (or doesn't give:)me!
Love, Laurie

My ADHD Me said...

Definitely a good reason to add the WVB. Actually, that can be a good thing. It keeps me equipted with WVB posts....haha.

What's fair? We all have our things that just aren't fair. "Life's not fair".....I guess that old saying makes sense after all.

I've had people say it isn't fair that I have such a good relationship with my sisters....but we could say it's not fair that our mother was....well, you know.

What we lack in one place, I suppose it gets made up for in another.

My back hurts today. Worse than usual. THAT'S NOT FAIR!! (and it's not....really!!!) lol

Have a great day!

Jenny said...

Wonderful post :) I will remember this when my son says life isn't fair.

Blasé said...

ok, I know it's not Thankful Thursday, but I'm not going to allow a man-made tradition prevent me from giving thanks to my Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ.

Today, I'm thankful that we have a good AC unit. I'm grateful for the lil' mexicans that did a good job.

..I also agree with whatever HH (aka KW) said...

Edie said...

This is so true. I used to work for a company where the owners thought it was fair to make everything equal. So if you worked hard or not at all, you still got the same bonuses, benefits, and perks. In essence they ended up rewarding bad behavior instead of good behavior, all in the name of fairness.

Diane said...

Good post. I get the It's not fair thing a lot with my girl. I do try to explain to her that you get different things but special in there own way.

HisPrincess said...

This is something I struggle with a bit, thanks for giving me some much needed perspective!

Kay Martin said...

Yes, I know that feeling of "this isn't fair," but lately God is trusting me with truly "seeing" me.

All I can honestly tell you is that I'm thanking God for His mercy with me. If He was fair, I'm not sure what He would legitimately do with me.l

Oh...give me Mercy over fair any day of thje week.

Catie said...

I like the examples you gave. They were wonderful!

KrippledWarrior said...

I LOVE the fair. As a kid it was the highlight of the summer. But I soon learned. THERE IS NOTHING FAIR AT THE FAIR.

Joyfulsister said...

Hey Sis,
My Mom's favorite line, so life isn't fair you gotta deal with it!! LOL I know she was going to say that before she spoke it.
Great post sis,

hugz Lorie

Things Above said...

Terrific post!

Susanne said...

I'll be remembering this post the next time I get "It's not fair" thrown at me from one of my teens.

Sue J. said...

This is lovely next to our verses in Proverbs today--God makes both the poor and the oppressor and He "gives light to the eyes of both."

We get ourselves in trouble when we try to use our judgment in ways that are not the Bible's ways. It comes back to who are we serving. If we are focused on serving God, then we can't be focused on things that are not of God--under which falls this issue of "fairness."

I'm trying to know the will of God. If part of me is trying to invoke the will of God, woe is me!

Now...can I explain this to CJ?

LisaShaw said...

"In life we can't compare things on the terms of equality. Everyone gets a different handful of gifts, and a different handful of problems. God may not be doling everything out equally. He is, however, fair."

Well said.


LisaShaw said...

Thanks for sharing with us Sweetie. I pray a great school year and a wonderful 2 weeks with your kids to love on them before school begins.

I'm very sorry to hear about Sonya's father. I will visit her blog.

The LORD is good and I have too much to be thankful for to fit here so I'm just thankful for JESUS and all HE means to my life.

Blessings and love dear sister.