Thinking back, I was indeed. Not only in things like making sure dinner was made, but in life training. I wasn't taught to meal plan, grocery shop, any hobbies, crafts...life was just existing then.
As we talked more my friend said "it sounds like your mom abandoned you." She met it metaphorically really, but I shared some times when I was literally abandoned by my mom. Left at school with no one to pick me up. Left to find something to eat when I was hungry. And when she packed her bags and left (again) for the mentally hospital for another month or more. Yes, that was where she needed to be...but to a small child that was abandonment.
As I reflected on the conversation, I realized that those were two so appropriate words to describe how my childhood felt...neglected and abandoned. Those words resonated with me.
Of course then my day went on. I did laundry. I made dinner. I got children ready for bed.
Before bedtime, my 5 yr old asked me to read to her, and we sat and read a few books. "One more." I said. Being a smart child, she brought out the biggest book she has - 365 Bible Stories for children. "I will read ONE story in that book, not the whole book." She pointed to the cover picture and said, "Read me THAT story."
I perused probably 364 stories, but couldn't find that picture. "How about another one?" "I want THAT one" she said. So again I looked and finally found the cover picture story. After I read the story, I concluded with the Bible verse for that story...Joshua 1:5. It said:
I will never neglect you or abandon you.
WOW! I had read that verse many times elsewhere, always as "I will never leave or forsake you." But to see that translation...those words I had been feeling all day. Neglected. Abandoned. And to have my God & Savior tell me HE will NEVER neglect me. He will never abandon me.
God revealed his love to me on Monday just exactly as I needed to hear it. What is God trying to reveal to you? Are you listening?
1 Samuel 3:21 -- The LORD continued to appear at Shiloh, and there he revealed himself to Samuel through his word.
Psalm 98:2 -- The LORD has made his salvation known and revealed his righteousness to the nations.
Psalm 85:8 -- I will listen to what God the LORD will say; he promises peace to his people....