Friday, September 12, 2008

No Dessert Before Dinner

"Why did Sarah Palin let her daughter do that?" This was the question posed by my 9 year old daughter to me. She had seen the cover of a magazine about Palin which touted "coping with her teen daughter's pregnancy."

How do you explain to a very sheltered 9 year old about that subject? I shared with her something like this.

"Sarah Palin didn't let her daughter get pregnant. Imagine if you were hungry, but I told you you couldn't have a sweet treat. Not because I don't want the best for you, but because I don't want you to spoil your dinner. But I go upstairs. And you feel like you are starving. Would you eat the dessert anyway?" My daughter assured me she would not. That she would obey.

Chances are the dessert would be something wonderful, and something I had made just for her. Since I made the dessert for her, I want her to have it. I just want her to wait until after dinner. If you have the dessert first, dinner will not seem as appetizing. You may not even want the dinner at all. But if you wait, you will be blessed by a nutritious dinner and a wonderfully satisfying dessert.

I then explained that God told us to wait until after marriage before we did things to have a baby. Just like I don't want her to possibly spoil her dinner, God doesn't want us to possibly spoil the plans he has for our future. But you still have the choice to disobey. God made this special gift for us, but his desire is that we have marriage first, and then the "dessert."

God can turn all things to good and for his glory. But we do have consequences when we choose to disobey his Word. I am not judging Sarah Palin, nor her daughter. Not only do I have two young daughters who will be teens soon enough, but I was once a teen. I remember.

Dessert can seem so inviting, so delicious. The desire is there for just a "taste." But just as Eve tasted the fruit, a taste can lead to sin. It is better to come to the table hungry, and enjoy a truly satisfying meal first.

Hebrews 12:15-17 -- See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son. Afterward, as you know, when he wanted to inherit this blessing, he was rejected. He could bring about no change of mind, though he sought the blessing with tears.

Psalm 34:8 -- Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

1 Corinthians 6:13 -- "Food for the stomach and the stomach for food"—but God will destroy them both. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.


Truth4thejourney said...

Oh Kelly, This is a beautiful analogy! I LOVE IT!! I will keep it in mind when I'm having that "talk" with my children. Thank you so much for sharing it.


Beverlydru said...

Great explanation for a 9 year old. Maybe our pastors should preach it that way to the adults too. Sometimes when we break it down to a child's level we can get it too!!

The Patterson 5 said...

Wonderful analogy! I too am filing it away to use with the Patterson kids. What a blessing you are to us and your beautiful daughters!

My ADHD Me said...

Like a couple of your other "commenters", the first thing I thought to write was what an incredible analogy. (And I didn't have to double check on the spelling, since they wrote it too).

If you keep this up we are going to have to start calling you Analogy Kelly instead of Chatty Kelly.

Or maybe Analogy Kelly Chats...

Anyway, I really liked what you said and I agree with beverlydru that maybe our pastors should preach it that way to the adults too.

Melissa the Careful Wisher said...

Wonderful explanation for such a "touchy" subject. I plan on borrowing your wisdom with my ten year-old who has been asking the same thing. Thanks, Melissa

Sue J said...

Deny it if you want, but our children are learning their morals from what they see in the supermarket checkout! And if we want to stand by and cover the covers, we are doing a grave disservice to them.

It is a great analogy, but what I love even more is that you didn't brush this aside. You approached it with honesty and a straight-forwardness that focused on God's Truth. We all need to continue to pray that prayer for Spirit-led help in finding just the right words (analogies, parables, whatever) to say to our kids.

The important thing is to SAY THE WORD!

Mrs. Sidney said...

This was a great example. I hope I remember this story when my son gets older.

Tammy R said...

What a great way of explaining God's plan on purity.

My daughter and I have many talks on this subject. We have read some good Christian books together on purity and pray for her future husband.
When she turned 13 her dad and I took her to dinner a gave her a ring for her to wear to remind her of the promise she has made to God and us to 'not eat the dessert before dinner':)

On Purpose said...

Wow...No...Double Wow. Yeah for a great "mommy moment" You did awesome Kelly! Way to go!

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

Kelly, this is priceless. You will need to re-visit this issue with your girls again and again, so you should remember this analogy. I have to tell you it's unsettling to have two teenaged daughters, although one is not yet dating. The other is in a long-term relationship. I have taught them what is right, but we are our own individuals with our own wills. It's scary.

Runner Mom said...

Wonderful job, sweet friend of your analogy! I love the scriptures that you tied in. This is something that we can use with our senior high girls' Bible study! Thank you!!

Have a great weekend!
Love ya,

Joy in The Truth (Sharon Sloan) said...

Kelly, I love how you explained that to your daughter. I am storing it away in my brain for later use! :)

There is a great book called "The Princess and the Kiss" by Jennie Bishop that teaches young girls about purity. "The Squire and the Scroll" is for young boys.

This past summer, my hubby did a "Squires" study this summer with a small group of boys, and I did a "Princess" study with a small group of young girls.

Isn't it a blessing to be able to teach our children about purity from such young ages?

"How does a young man keep his way pure? By living according to Your Word." Psalm 119

Thanks for sharing this moment with your daughter! It's precious and helpful! :)

Warm blessings,

Rebecca Ingram Powell said...

Hey CK,

This is beautifully done!

Like Jesus, you used something that was pertinent to her young life to point her to a profound truth.

Way to go, Mom!

Bonita said...

What a wonderful explanation. So clear. So appropriate. So right on target.

Jessica said...

OH my, this is awesome! I'm so going to remember it for when my boys are older.

Kelley said...

Kelly this is awesome! Not too long ago my 11 yr. old was looking at the cover of a tabloid mag. where Jamie Lynn Spears said she "loves being a mom and it is the best thing that has ever happened to her." Needless to say that stirred up some interesting conversation with my daughter.

Then recently I heard about "passport to purity" and I'm thinking of trying it. I am not sure of all that it entails but basically it is to introduce sex and "teen issues" to adolescents. Your analogy might come in very handy for me (even though I would much rather hide in a cave until they are all grown, lol). Thanks so much for your words of wisdom!!

kara said...

Wow! What an awesome way to help a child understand such a delicate and overwhelming concept. Thank you so much for sharing this, Kelly! I will have to remember this!

skoots1mom said...

you keep talking, and talking, as long as they'll listen. This kind of communication is showing them how much you love them and how much God loves them...
precious times!

Angela said...

That's a really good parallel. Why just have dessert when we can have so much more. You have to start with what's good for you, and then the extra sweetness is a great addition. By itself, though, you just get left with a bad feeling in your stomach! Thanks for coming by earlier. That is pretty neat about the inches/weeks correllating. I didn't know that. Hope you are enjoying the nice weather this weekend!

Edie said...

That was a great analogy Kelly. I will have to remember it for my grandaughters. This is such a hard time we live in.

Julie Gillies said...

I LOVE this! Excellent analogy, Kelly. God really gave you a great word picture to share with your daughter that she will not soon forget.

Irritable Mother said...

What a great way to explain God's design in a way our kids can understand.
Way to go, Mom!

HisPrincess said...

Thats a great analogy. Your daughter is precious!