Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Well Shut My Mouth!

Have you ever said something so stupid that you wish that you could either quickly suck it back in, or that the floor would swallow you up? I think we're all guilty of that! The most commonly discussed faux pas is "When are you due?" to a woman who informs you she is not pregnant. While I've never said that before, I did have my daughter ask, in that very loud shrill child voice, "DOES THAT MAN HAVE A BABY IN HIS TUMMY?" at the grocery store. I tell you I flew down the aisle with my cart, wobbly wheel and all.

Kids have a way of embarrassing us, when were not busy embarrassing ourselves. I was snuggling my 4 yr old recently and she patted my tummy and said "you're getting a fat tummy." THANKS A LOT.

The worst thing I've ever said? When I was working about 14 years ago, I walked past a girl who had several vases of fresh flowers, and a new plant on her desk. Assuming it was her birthday (and you know what happens when you assume, right?), I gushed "Look at all these beautiful flowers. You must be the LUCKIEST girl in the world!!!" And she said, "My mom died." (and yes, I felt like dying).

So fess up, what's the most embarrassing thing you've ever said? And if you are too chicken to answer, then how about the most embarrassing thing your kid said in front of or about you.

Psalm 19:14 -- May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Proverbs 18:6,7 -- A fool's lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating. A fool's mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul.

Proverbs 21:23 -- He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.


HisPrincess said...

Here in our small country community in Australia everyone has a nickname. I mean everyone. No one is called by their proper name. I was discovering this tradition while being introduced to all my boyfriends friends, and was pretty impressed that I was getting the hang of it, being an outsider and all. Kym (yes, that is his real name!) introduced me to one of his old school buddies, Dugald. I snorted and said "Dugald! That's the worst one I've heard today! So. What's your real name?". Well, you guessed it. That WAS his real name. He is still the only person I know around here without a nickname. I just wanted to die. He has forgiven me now, but still mentions it pretty often, 20 years later!

The Patterson 5 said...

I spend most of my days with both of my feet in my mouth! I think one of my silly ones was when we were buying our first home, the previous owner was introducing us to our new neighbor who was walking his two very cute pups. She introduced us by our formal names, we have nick names,too! She said, this is Charles and Virginia and I said, wow your dogs have our real names! Imediately after those words flew out of my mouth I knew I'd flubbed it up! Oh well!

Bonita said...

Loved reading your stories and those of the other commenters. The one about Dugald just cracked me up!

I can't think of one off hand, though don't mistake that for never saying anything goofy. However, I do remember when my son was little we referred to beer as yucky Coke (we had nicknames for everything). We always said it wasn't a good thing and we shouldn't drink it. Well, one day we got in line at the grocery store behind a man buying his weekend beer quota. Just as loud as loud can be my son yells, "Ewwww, look Mommy, that man drinks yucky Coke! Doesn't he know he shouldn't drink that bad stuff?"

Anonymous said...

Over the years I've learned NOT to assume anything! A few years ago I ran into a friend from high school at a party. She had the most adorable baby girl with her. After all the great to see yous after so many years, here is what I said, "I didn't even hear about you getting married." Her response, "I'm NOT married." OOPS! I'll never make that assumption again - embarrassing!

Alyce said...

A few years ago when I was quiet pregnant, it was the graduate sunday at church. I had to run to the potty, well out there near the bathrooms, the graduates were lined up waiting to walk into the sanctuary. I kinda waddled through the line and at the end I said (to one of the parents) "Oh I'm graduating too, all big and pregnant!"...well, as soon as it came out of my mouth, I realized that the man I said that too...his stepdaughter actually was graduating and actually was big and pregnant!!
I just could have died!!!

My ADHD Me said...

As you can imagine, I have TONS of these moments. The worst was when I was looking thru the trading post for a bike for one of my kids. I called on one and the lady said it was in perfect condition and her child had only ridden it once. I said something about how we hate bying something expensive that our kids "need" and then they never use them. I said "Doesn't that just kill you when they do that?" She replied "No, He died".

Enough said. I was mortified.

Julie Gillies said...

Hi Kelly,

When my now grown son was about 3, he was playing by the steps in a public pool while I sat nearby on a chaise.

An older man with a rather large stomach began stepping into the water when my boy pointed his finger and, to my horror, flat-out yelled, "Woe! You have a very fat tummy!"

I nearly died. We hustled home PDQ.

Totally embarassing.

By the way, it was nice to meet you at She Speaks!

HisPrincess said...

Great stories everyone!

I feel a little better now....but come on...who calls their kid Dugald?

Please don't tell me that any of you have a son/husband/father/cat called Dugald. I will have to post another emabarrasing story!

Starr said...

I am forever sticking my foot in my big ole' mouth....
The worst thing I think I ever said was to my neighbor the first time I met her. She was 8 months pregnant and looked like she just had a little basketball in her tummy. I, for one, tend to get HUGE all over when I am pregnant and am so jealous of those little basketball carrying gals.
Anyway, The first thing I said to her was, "I hate people like you!"
Of course I was joking, but she did not know my quirky personality yet and was taken aback by my remark. I could have crawled in the ground when she glared at me with a very surprised and offended expression.
I spent the next few minutes trying to explain that I really meant it as a compliment and how maybe I have an unusual sense of humor. She understood, laughed and we are friends today.
I have never made that comment again to ANYBODY!
Love and Blessings,